Full Circle

Yesterday was really challenging. I choose the word 'challenging' because it particularly describes the situation when you are forced to overcome what may seem like an insurmountable obstacle.
Today was a time of solice - I stayed calm, docile and reserved, like an animal gently licking it's healing wounds. I took time to myself and avoided the crowds. I didn't force a smile when I wasn't really happy - which made the moments of actual joy genuine.
Kanako, whom I love, saw how effected I was and took me under her wing. She invited me to kareoke and dinner. Still feeling overwhelmed, I skipped the singing to study more but I allowed myself the indulgence of dinner out in Koshien.
As for Satomi, I realized how wrongly skewed with emotionality my perception was yesterday. Today I went back to visit her again and I realized how very lucky I am to have her. She takes excellent maternal care of me, and who knows how many times through my adolescence my mother (who I love!) has unwittingly upset me! Ha! And who knows how many times I have upset you, Mom... you know I love you and miss you Mom! Funny, Satomi and Yamazaki sensei even made a big deal about the pink skirt you love so much, Mom. Maybe I've got two great Japan-Mothers after all!
I studied with Megs tonight and I feel the relief of hope for the future and faith in myself. This stuff takes time, and I have a lot of great accomplishments behind me to support me in challenges like this one.
Well, it's really late now. I ought to get a good nights sleep so that I can stay awake for my lessons. Thanks for listening.